Patience: Your Best Ally in Parenting

Join our family to give your child the best foundation for the best future — schedule a guided visit to ABCnMe.

Patience isn’t a heroic act or an unattainable goal. It’s a steady presence that accompanies us through every corner of parenting—from the morning rush to leave the house to the nightly battles over vegetables at dinner. It’s the quiet force that sustains us during endless tantrums or the chaos of a day filled with “I don’t want to!” that makes us question if we’re doing it right.

Parenting with Patience is Parenting with Love

Parenting with patience doesn’t mean never losing your cool. We’re all human, and there are days when we feel like we can’t take it anymore. But patience isn’t about perfection—it’s about daily, intentional choices: pausing to breathe before responding, listening before imposing, and seeing our children as unique beings learning at their own pace.

When a child refuses to cooperate, it’s not always out of defiance. Often, they’re exploring boundaries or simply unable to express what they’re feeling. Rafael Guerrero, psychologist and expert in emotional education, sums it up:

"Patience isn’t just for the child; it’s also for ourselves. It gives us the space to respond instead of reacting, and that difference transforms parenting."

How Patience Transforms Family Dynamics

Imagine this scenario: your child is screaming because they don’t want to pick up their toys. It’s tempting to react with impatience. But what if, instead, you crouched to their level and said: "I know you don’t want to do this right now. Sometimes it’s hard to do things we don’t like, but we can do it together.” That pause might be all they need to feel understood and cooperate.

Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline, emphasizes:

"Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn." Teaching with patience helps children understand that limits aren’t punishments—they’re guides to help them grow safely.

Taking Care of Yourself to Care for Them

In the hustle of daily responsibilities, it’s easy to forget that being patient also means being kind to yourself. Kristin Neff, pioneer in self-compassion research, highlights that practicing kindness toward ourselves during moments of exhaustion or difficulty allows us to extend patience and understanding to others, including our children. By caring for ourselves emotionally, we create a more balanced inner space to face parenting challenges with calm and empathy.

Strategies to Cultivate Patience

• Mindful Breathing

  Take a deep breath before reacting. This pause can give you clarity to respond with empathy.

• Emotional Validation

  Acknowledge your child’s feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them. A simple “I know this is frustrating for you” can shift the tone of the interaction.

• Small Breaks

  If you feel overwhelmed, step away for a few minutes to refocus.

• Realistic Expectations

  Remember that children are learning, and making mistakes is part of their development.

• Self-Care Model

  Practice patience with yourself. Tough days don’t define your abilities as a parent.

An Inspiring Example

A Stanford University study found that children raised in an environment where parents practice patience show greater development of social and emotional skills. When parents respond calmly, children learn to regulate their emotions more effectively.

A Message for You

Parenting is a journey full of challenges and learning. You’re not alone. Every patient choice you make strengthens your bond with your children and teaches them lifelong lessons.

At the end of the day, remember this: you don’t need to be perfect—just present. By choosing patience, you transform not only your relationship with your children but also who you are as a person.

Join our family to give your child the best foundation for the best future — schedule a guided visit to ABCnMe.

References

• Nelsen, J. (2006). Positive Discipline. EDAF Publishing.

• Guerrero, R. (2021). Emotional Education and Attachment. Desclée De Brouwer.

• Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins.

• Stanford University Study: The Role of Parental Patience in Emotional Development (2019).