The Role of Grandparents in Parenting: Advice, Boundaries, and Parenting as a Team
- Marianela de Sousa
- Jul 16
- 3 min read
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Have you ever wondered about the role grandparents play in parenting and in your family? Are they an invaluable source of support, or do they sometimes present challenges in raising your children? Speaking of grandparents is to speak of pure love. They are partners in mischief, keepers of traditions, and a constant source of support when needed. But their role goes beyond spoiling grandchildren; they possess immense wisdom that can enrich parenting. That said, for everything to flow smoothly, we must balance their experience, support, and the boundaries necessary to maintain harmony at home.
The Value of Listening to Grandparents
Have you ever heard a grandparent say: “If I had known then what I know now, I would have done things differently”? This isn’t just nostalgia; it’s evidence of how we grow through experiences. According to psychologist Terri Apter in her article How to Be a Good Grandparent Without Falling Out with your Children for The Times (2025), the role of grandparents should be rooted in offering support without interfering with parental decisions. Apter emphasizes that respectful dialogue between grandparents and parents not only benefits children but also strengthens family bonds.
Modern grandparents, increasingly younger and more active, have the ability to balance their own lives with caregiving responsibilities. However, success in this role requires respecting the authority of new parents, avoiding unsolicited advice, and embracing generational differences in parenting methods.
Advice, Not Imposition
Grandparents’ experience is a gift that enriches parenting, but new parents also need to navigate their own journey.
The role of grandparents is to complement, not replace: they can guide with support, but never impose.
It’s essential for grandparents to respect decisions like bedtime routines, discipline strategies, or family traditions set by parents, even if they disagree.
Respecting Boundaries
Establish clear roles
Define situations where grandparents provide support or supervision.
Avoid imposing traditions
Refrain from altering rules already set by parents.
Value parents' autonomy
Allow new parents to make mistakes and learn from their experiences.
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Parenting as a Team: The Ideal Formula for the Role of Grandparents in the Parenting of Children
When grandparents and parents work together, they create a balanced home filled with learning and growth. To achieve this:
Open dialogue
Clarify expectations and roles from the beginning.
Recognize generational differences
Each contributes the best of their experience.
Keep the focus on children
They thrive when respect and unity prevail.
A Meaningful Conclusion
Grandparents remind us that the past not only teaches us but also connects us. Their role isn’t to impose but to accompany with wisdom and love. Parenting becomes stronger when generations work together, respecting boundaries and building bridges.
Today is the perfect time to sit with a grandparent and ask: "What have you learned from your experiences?" In those words lie stories, lessons, and the richness of a life lived with purpose.
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References
Apter, T. (2025, February 3). How to be a good grandparent without falling out with your children. The Times. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-be-good-grandparent-falling-out-children-6gbs2qx2c
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